On Friday, my brother Adrien celebrated his 27th birthday. The whole family had dinner in Coffrane and we finally met Valentine's new boyfriend Julien. It was nice.

On Saturday, we had a fondue in Coffrane for no special occasion but I have to mention that I invited Sebastien.

On Sunday we all went to the Bueches as Rachel is turning 30 and there was a big party with a lot of guests. We had a real good time and I could see and hold Camille a little which was great as I'm so fond of her child.

I did something we don't usually do in Switzerland, I asked someone to be my Valentine, I asked Joel in a letter that I sent a few days ago with pictures of us at Universal and some chocolate. I don't know if I should have done it but I did. I guess that was necessary for me to go on in my life.

I think I'm lonely and that's something I realize even more when I have a lot of time to think like currently. I think I would like to have someone in my life, someone who will care for me and who will love me like I will care for and love him. I wonder if I'm asking too much, am I deserving this happiness or just really wanting something that everybody wants but not everybody gets? Why is love so important in our lives, why is it such a big deal? Because it is about what we feels, it is attachment, emotion, sensing something deep and when you're loved in return there's nothing that feels better...

I know I'm not loved in return, that's why I feel lonely and sad sometimes. I need to forget Joel.

Today, I had a course, the whole day to learn about the style and colors that suit me. My mother had insisted that I take it a long time ago and since I don't have a job any more I thought I should give it a try just in case this can help me dress up better or improve the way I do my make up...

Well it was not of much help at all, the other participants did not have any style, mostly dressing in black because they don't know what colors they like and how to dress. Black hides because it does not reflect any light like the real colors. I like colors and I like wearing colors, from what I've learnt today I wear the right colors (mostly) and I do my make up all right. I learnt about my shape and that a few kilos less could help me look better, but that I knew already.